Jealousy Is An Ugly Word, But You Don't Seem To Care
by SincerelyCarmillaKarnstein
Summary: Laura and Carmilla have been roommates for a while. Can Carm sdmit her true feelings to Laura or will she have to watch as Laura becomes Danny's girlfriend? Hollstein with brief mention of Danny/Laura.


**A/N: The title was inspired by a lyric in one of Avenged Sevenfold's songs.**

 **This will be AU in the aspect of not crazy things happening at Silas.**

 **Carmilla is a vampire, but Laura doesn't know.**

 **This is a Hollstein fic, but Danny makes an appearance.**

 **This was supposed to be a cute fic called, "Carmilla's Future Girlfriend". It was supposed to be about Carm telling Laura that she has a crush on her and taking her on a first date.**

 **But clearly, it didn't unfold that way. I'll write the fic mentioned above next.**

 **Don't get me wrong, I do like Danny, but not in this fic. lol**

 **No idea how this got so angsty when I have been super happy lately.**

 **P.S**

 **The scene involving Danny after Carmilla confesses how she feels about Laura involve a pretty violently graphic scene. The scene will have the +++ symbol for it.**

 **xxx**

"Hey Carm!" Laura said excitedly as she walked into their dorm. She had just come back from vacation. Every time she left, she brought her yellow pillow with her. Carmilla didn't like that because she would hold onto Laura's pillow whenever Laura was out. Laura's scent always calmed Carmilla down if she had a nightmare.

Carmilla was on the bed with a book, "Hey there, Creampuff. How was your vacation with your Dad?"

"It was so much fun! I told him all about you. He was interrogating me like you were my girlfriend!"

Carmilla chuckled, "Your Dad has a crazy imagination."

"What did you do for your vacation?" Laura asked as she approached Carm's bed. Carmilla put her book on her dresses and scooted over so Laura could lay down next to her.

"I stayed here."

"Why?"

"I didn't have anywhere to go." Carmila said as she shrugged.

"You could've come with me!"

"I would've declined. You don't get to see your Dad all the time. Family comes first, then me."

Carmilla didn't have a family unless you count Laura, Perry, Laf, Kirsch, and others. Her family had died long ago and the woman she referred to as "Mother" was one by title only. She was nothing like the way a mother should be.

"I know, but next time, please come with me. My Dad really wants to meet you."

Carmilla raised an eyebrow,"Why? We aren't dating or anything." Laura could've sworn that she heard some sadness in her voice.

"It's because I talked about you at least once each day I was gone."

"I knew you liked me, Cutie, but not obsessed with me." She smirked at Laura.

"I'm not obsessed with you!"

"Uh huh, sure."

Laura swatted her shoulder.

"I'm serious, please come."

"You know I can't say no to you."

 **xxx**

Laura had fallen asleep after they had been talking for hours. When Carmilla first met Laura, she was interesting. Laura wasn't as annoying as she thought. There was no way that she would actually admit that though.

As time progressed, Laura was actually growing on her. She liked the way Laura smiled and was upbeat. She hated seeing her frown or look sad, so she would try to cheer her up in her own way.

Carmilla started stealing Laura's pillow and it drove Laura nuts. She would get it back. One night, Carmilla was holding it in her sleep and was surprised when she woke up holding the pillow too. She looked over and saw that Laurs stole her animal print pillow. Carmilla couldn't help, but smile at this.

 **xxx**

"Danny asked me out on a date!" Laura said excitedly.

Carmilla tried to not show her disappointment.

"That's cool." She tried not to sound bitter, but inside she was seething.

"I know you aren't the biggest fan her."

Carmilla was leaning against her dresser, "You can do whatever you want, Laura. I'm not your girlfriend, so no need to run things by me."

Carmilla stopped inviting study buddies over ever since she developed feelings for Laura. It really surprised her. It had started slow though.

She started to notice how beautiful her smile was, how she stood up to Carmilla without feeling threatened by her, and put up with her mess. She had this glow around her.

Carmilla was confident and she liked the air of mystery around herself. This was why she rarely shared information with Laura.

After Elle, she swore to herself to never reveal her true self. She saw herself as a monster. Vampires were unnatural and not supposed to be a part of this world. Laura made her feel...normal.

"So are you going to date her or just go on a date?"

"Only a date, Carm. Jeez, it's not like I'm going to marry her!"

Carm rolled her eyes, "Obviously."

There was a knock and Danny poked her head in, "You ready?"

"Yep, all set! Don't wait up for me."

Carmilla took the book she had laid down on the dresser "Why would I do that? You're your own woman. You don't have to ask for my permission."

Laura looked like she wanted to say something, but Danny grabbed onto her hand. Right before she closed the door, she could've sworn she saw the saddest look on Carmilla's face.

 **xxx**

After Laura left for her date, Carmilla threw the book at the wall. She wasn't one to get jealous, but the moment Danny's hand grabbed Laura's, she felt it. It was like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Carmilla didn't want to think of Danny holding Laura's hand, talking to her in a low voice with their heads close together, or Danny kissing her. She sure as hell didn't want to imagine Danny sleeping with Laura in the future. She gritted her teeth and ended up punching a hole in the wall. She could've broke the entire thing with her strength, but just made a small hole.

Hours had passed and Carmilla just laid on the bed focusing on the time on her phone. Each minute that passed by seemed to be crushing her inside.

She felt like this with Ell, but after her rejection, it tore her heart in two. Ever since, Carmilla kept her heart guarded. Some might claim she was cold and heartless, but she wasn't.

Carmilla never thought she would fall for another human. How would she keep this from Mother, who had eyes and ears all over campus?

If Laura liked this date, then she might eventually become Danny's girlfriend. Laura could make her own decisions and Carmilla never believed in forcing her to do something she didn't want to. It was never a part of her nature. She might not be a human anymore, but she didn't lose her humanity.

 **xxx**

It was night time and Carmilla had fallen asleep in Laura's bed clutching her pillow tightly. She even had tear stains on them. She wasn't one to get emotional, but this was a serious matter. She was having nightmares involving Danny and Laura, but she kept continuing to fall back asleep anyways.

Laura had opened the door quietly and was surprised to see Carmilla asleep in her bed. She would usually tell her to leave, but Carmilla looked so peaceful sleeping. In reality, Carmilla was far from peaceful.

Carmilla woke up and saw Laura, "Hey, I'm surprised that you're back so soon."

"The date wasn't bad or anything, but I guess it wasn't as exciting as I expected."

"That's odd since you were so excited before you left. I thought you would sleep over there."

"Why would you assume that? I'm not like you."

Carmilla flinched, "You don't see any study buddies around, do you?"

"No." Laura could hear the pain in Carmilla's voice. She could tell Carmilla would be on the defensive side.

Carmilla had the chance right now to tell her how she felt.

Would she take this opportunity?

"I can't stand seeing you with her."

"Why not?"

"It's because I… I want you to be with me."

Laura sighed, "Carm, you should've told me _before_ I went out with Danny!"

"How could I?" Carmilla snapped.

"It's not that hard."

"You know that it is."

"How was I supposed to know that you liked me? You have been so stand-offish and surrounding yourself with your study buddies!"

"I stopped that because of you! They weren't you."

"Did you ever think that whenever you were with a study buddy that it really hurt me?"

"How was I supposed to when you talked about Danny all the time? Danny this and Danny that!"

"That's not fair, Carm!"

"Too bad, Buttercup."

"You know what, I'm going to stay over at Danny's tonight."

Carmilla clenched her fists, "Fine."

"Are you going to stop me?" Laura whispered.

"Just...just go!"

Carmilla ran past Laura, opened the door, and ran out of the dorm. She didn't look back to see if Laura followed her, but she heard Laura yell her name. She kept running and she didn't know where exactly she was going. She didn't breathe, but it didn't mean she didn't feel pain. She felt the pain sinking in deeper until it reached her bones.

Carmilla finally told Laura how she felt and she wasn't prepared for Laura to say that she liked her too. She must've missed out on her chance to be with Laura.

 **xxx**

Laura was so angry at Carmilla and herself. She was angry at Carmilla because she wasn't honest about her feelings. She was angry at herself because she wasn't aware of Carmilla's feelings. She thought that Carm was just being herself and teasing her like a friend does.

Laura sat at her desk and covered her face as she felt tears slide down her cheeks. She wiped them away.

'Okay Hollis, you need to get yourself together! Your Dad didn't raise you to be a cry baby."

 **xxx**

Carmilla was leaning against a tree and heard a noise. She saw a flash of red hair and cursed under her breath.

"You can't sneak up on me, Amazon."

Danny came out of the shadows, "You need to leave Laura alone."

"Oh yeah? When did you start speaking for her?"

"I don't, but it's it's pretty obvious that she doesn't want you."

"That's not true!"

"She only likes you out of pity."

Carmilla faced Danny, "You better take back what you said, Red, or I'll make you regret it."

Danny scoffed, "Bring it on, bitch."

Carmilla launched herself at Danny. She could've used all her strength to hurt the human before her, but she didn't. Laura would hate her forever if Carmilla hurt Danny.

As Carmilla was on top of Danny, she wasn't able to control herself, and her fangs came out. Carmilla hissed at her and saw the look of intense fear wash over Danny's face.

"You're a monster." She heard Danny's brave voice shake a little.

Carmilla backed up and Danny shoved her off.

"You're a monster! You think that Laura would want you now?"

Carmilla remained stunned as she clutched onto grass, pretending it could keep grounded.

"Danny, please don't…"

"Don't what, tell her?"

"She can't find out!"

Danny leaned closer to her, "My suspicions about you were right."

Carmilla saw Danny pull out a stake from her jacket.

The 300 year old vampire could've stopped her, but what was the point? Danny was right, she was a monster. If Danny killed her, then Laura would be safe...from her.

Instead, Carmilla just laid down on the grass and saw Danny hover her while pressing the stake against her chest. It didn't pierce into her like she expected it to.

"If you're going to kill me, then get it over with."

"What happened to the brave and badass Carmilla Karnstein? Not looking so tough now!"

Carmilla didn't answer as she felt her fangs puncture her lower lip. She could feel blood coming out. The physical pain was something she could handle better than the emotional.

Danny had this fiery look in her eyes, "Any last words, Blood Demon?"

"Tell Laura that I love her."

"No."

Carmilla closed her eyes as she saw Danny raise her hand up. It would only take a few seconds before Carmilla got staked in the heart.

 **xxx**

Unlike in the fictitious movies and books, vampires don't turn to ash or die stake buries deep into the heart and causes small pieces of wood to be splintered in the heart. It feels like you're being stabbed by millions of razor blades at once.

Even if vampires can't breathe, any movement causes the shards of wood to sink deeper inside. Blood will come out of the chest and soak your clothes. Your body will start to burn and it'll flow through your veins as you slowly turn to ash. You start to turn to ash and it is at such a slow pace.

 **+++Basically, Carmilla explains that vampires have a slow and agonizing death when staked in the heart.+++**

 **xxx**

Instead of Carmilla feeling the stake, she heard a voice, _her_ voice.

"STOP!"

Danny looked up to see Laura rushing her and kicking the stake out of the redhead's hand.

"But Laura!"

"Don't you dare 'but me', Danny! I heard _everything."_

Carmilla wanted to disappear right now.

She knew.

She _knew._

What if Laura left her like Elle did?

She could hear Elle's voice ring in her head, "They were right about you. You are a monster."

A monster was what she truly was.

Carmilla kept her eyes closed because she couldn't face Laura.

 **xxx**

Above Carmilla, Laura had kicked Danny in the chest, which knocked the air out of her lungs, and she fell on her back.

"You know Danny, I was really beginning to genuinely like you. But after this, I can't forgive you! Don't ever contact me ever again. I can't even look at you."

Danny's voice trembled, "But...But she's a monster! She was going to hurt you, seduce, you, and drink blood from you! What if she drank too much and killed you?"

"I don't need your damn protection! I can take of myself and have been since my mom died. I don't need a dad, I already have one."

Laura was a forgiving person, but what Danny had done was irreparable. She saw Danny stand up and walk away from Laura. Danny never turned around to face Laura or Carmilla.

 **xxx**

Laura bent down next to Carmilla, "Carm! Carm? Did she hurt you anywhere?" Laura was putting her hands on Carmilla's chest to see if Danny had stabbed her.

"I never took you as the touchy feely type."

Laura helped Carmilla sit up and she coughed up some blood.

"Are you crazy? You could've gotten killed!"

"Why would you care? I thought you wanted your precious Danny."

Carmilla was at a lost for words when Laura slapped her. It wasn't hard, but more of a shock. Carmilla held a hand to her cheek, that stung.

"You can be so dense sometimes! I want you, I always wanted you. Sure, I thought Danny and I were compatible, but the more time I spent with you, I was starting to have feelings. I don't know why you didn't pick up on that."

"She was the safer choice." Carmilla whispered.

Laura frowned, "How do you know that?"

"She's a human and around your age. You two could grow old together. If you were with me, then you would age, and I would stay this age. One day, you'll die and I'll alone again."

"You're wrong."

"What?"

"So what if you're a 300 year old vampire? Everyone's going to be technically 'younger' than you."

Laura paused before continuing, "I like you for you. You treat me the way I should be treated despite my age. You don't treat me like a child unlike some people. Why do you doubt yourself so much? I'm not going where."

"What if I'm not enough and you want someone your age that's a human?"

"You don't get to make that decision for me."

Carmilla nodded, "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Laura almost flung herself at Carmilla and wrapped her arms around her, knocking her back down.

"I love you, Carm."

Carmilla had a confused look on her face.

"You...you _love_ me? Even after all the torment I put you through?"

"Yes."

Laura's head was half lying on Carmilla and was resting her head on Carmilla's chest.

"Don't leave me, got it?"

"Yeah, I got it."

Laura snuggled closer to Carmilla, who took off her leather jacket to cover her human with.

"I guess we're dating now, right?"

"What are you going to do, propose to me instead?"

Laura rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

Carmilla smirked, "Not a chance, Buttercup."

Laura looked up at Carmilla, lifted herself up, wiped Carmilla's lips with her sleeve, and kissed her.

She felt a metallic taste in her mouth and felt Carmilla's fang.

"Ow, Carm!"

Carmilla retracted her fangs, "Sorry."

Laura went back to kissing Carmilla again. It wasn't heated or rushed in any way. It was soft and gentle.

Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura and kissed her more. Her scent filled Carmilla's nose.

"You smell like lavender."

Laura smiled, "Mmhmm."

 **xxx**

The two of them laid there in the grass, looking up at the sky that was filled with stars.

"This is such a Simba, Timone, and Pumba moment."

"You're ruining this moment." Carmilla chuckled.

"So where does this leave us, Carm?"

"Well, I haven't asked you yet."

"Asked what?"

"Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Nope."

"What?!"

"Just kidding! Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend if you'll be mine."

"Nah, forget I said anything. You're not my type."

Carmilla felt Laura swat her.

"Well if that's the way you feel…"

Laura was about to get up when Carmilla stopped her and held Laura in her arms.

"Today's the first day right, girlfriend?"

"Did you really just ask me that?"

"You owe me a date for saving your ass and what a nice one it is." Laura winked.

"I'll have to wear my leather pants more often then."

 **xxx**

Five years had passed. Carmilla and Laura were lying on their bed together watching the Twilight trilogy. Laura wanted to, so whatever Laura wanted, she got.

"I think it's time we had a talk."

"If you're about to ask me to wear glitter so I can shine like that wannabe vampire, then the answers no."

"Pfft, I wasn't going to ask that!"

"So what's this about?"

"My pillow."

"Your pillow?"

"Yeah, my yellow one."

"What about it?"

"Why do you love it so much? It's just a pillow."

"Woah, it's not _just_ a pillow, Laura. It's _your_ pillow and it reminds me of you. I would uh...snuggle with it in secret when you go to work."

Laura let out a fake gasp, "You're cheating on me?!"

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "She's got nothing on you, Creampuff."

"Yeah right."

Carmilla kissed her cheek, "I want custody of that pillow."

"No way! That pillow is mine!"

"It's on my side of the bed."

"That's because you keep stealing it!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Carmilla began to clutch tightly onto Laura's pillow while she used her other arm to hold onto Laura.

"I don't know why you like this movie. Vampires sparkle. We don't sparkle!"

"It's because of Edward and Bella's relationship!"

"Oh please, he stalks her!"

"No he's not!"

"He is! He watched her when she was asleep. He chose to be in a corner while hiding! He probably had his hand-"

"Ew Carm!, I don't want to hear it."

"I'm just saying, he's a creeper."

 **xxx**

They were on the second movie, "So what team are you on? Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

"Please tell me that you're joking."

"Oh come on Carm, it's fun!"

"Not sure if I would root for a fang face that glitters or a whiny bitch."

"Jacob's not a bitch!"

"Fine, he's a giant furball."

"Carm!"

"I'm Team Charlie."

"He wasn't even a choice!"

"He's the only one that has sense in this entire movie!"

"The scene where he's cleaning his gun is how my Dad will be when you meet him for the first time."

"Lovely."

 **xxx**

The credits for the final movie were on showing on the laptop.

"You have to be kidding me!"

"What is it Carm?"

"That's the end?!"

"Yeah."

"That ending was bullshit."

"At least they showed the action scene!"

"It was stupid. I never want to watch these movies again."

"That's okay, I got the books too!"

Carmilla let out a groan, "Tell me you're joking…"

"Nope! And they're signed copies!" Laura giggled excitedly and went to go grab them.

When Laura came back, she closed the laptop and put it on her nightstand with the books on too.

She snuggled with Carm and held her hand.

"You make me so happy, Carm."

"Right back at ya, Creampuff."

Laura kissed Carmilla on the cheek.

Carmilla just smiled as she held Laura closer to her. She listened to Laura's heart beat. As long as Carmilla was around, she told herself that she wanted Laura to forever be human and not turn into what she was. Laura gave her life meaning and showed Carmilla that she had her humanity still even if she wasn't alive.


End file.
